By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   At the start of my journey doing community work in rural Colorado I didn't set out to write about it. In fact, I wasn't sure where this journey was going to lead me. After over a decade of listening, here's what I learned. The work started out about trying to make rural communities better, but the longer I did the work the more I came to realize it was about something more. It was about connecting rural communities and the people in those communi

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Thirty years ago, the Academy of American Poets inaugurated April as the first National Poetry Month, what has since become my favorite time of year. A recent question from an audience member at a poetry reading invited me to reflect on where my love of poetry began. My first encounter with a poem was in elementary school. It was a lovely poem by Robert Frost that quietly but profoundly ignited the writer in me. Below is the poem he wrote that made

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Cars zooming past, construction noises in the background, news blaring from the television. Beeps from the cellphone for every email, text message, and social media update. The world is very loud today. So, what do I do, jump in my camper and head for the hills. It’s time to lower the volume. Not just the outside noises that bombard us, not just daily but hourly. It’s time to lower the volume on societal expectations, the demands of productivity, t

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   Maya Angelou once said that we need to forgive ourselves for not knowing what only time could teach us. Her words found me and hit me hard this week. I think that at some point we all find ourselves stuck, ruminating in the mistakes of our past. Decisions we put off making until it was too late, self-care we never took time for until we got sick, vacations we didn’t take because we thought were too expensive until we burned out. All those moments

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   There are seasons in our life when we stop enjoying life because we’re too busy surviving. You wake up and just go through the motions, check off responsibilities, respond to messages, care for others, push through pain, and then collapse into bed at night wondering where the day went. You can barely make it through the week and spend the weekends recovering, just so you can do it all over again. Trust me, that’s no way to live. It’s not healthy

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   After pain comes a season of healing. For some it is loud and dramatic, for me it was quiet and intentional. Poetry began as a way for me to breathe again. I found myself sitting by the river, listening to the steady reassurance of water moving forward. I walked slowly through the woods letting the trees remind me that rooted things still bend and that sleeping is surviving. I napped in warm sunlight, giving my body permission to rest without gui

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez At the beginning of each new year, I choose a word to carry me through the year. This year I chose a word that felt both tender and terrifying: LOVE. Not the easy kind that is wrapped in romance and pretty affirmations. The kind that asks you to sit with yourself, to reflect in the quiet moments, to push through the hard moments, and notice how you’ve chosen to love and be loved. Somewhere between cold snowy mornings with a cup of tea and the cozy

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Dear Gentle Reader, What if you don't need to find more balance in your life. What if instead you need more clarity. Let go of the idea that “Life is a balancing act.” No, my dear, it is not. Living life according to this idea is only going to bring stress, worry, and bad health. Instead, embrace the idea that life is about prioritizing what’s most important. Sitting in my comfy chair, wrapped in my fuzzy blanket, with a cup of tea in hand, I refle

Slow morning in my home office, tea, candles, and a good book By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   Eyes open to gooey haze, morning thoughts wade through a foggy brain. Who knew a whole night’s sleep would bring no rest… These first few lines from a recent poem I wrote connect me to the idea of slow living, being mindful of how my body needs to move, especially in the mornings. How we start our day can predict how our entire day will go. Chronic Illness didn’t just change my routine

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez I am the eldest daughter. I spent most of my life caring for others and holding things together. Maybe you can relate, maybe you know what it's like to always be the strong one. Now that I'm sick, I feel like I'm being taken care of for the first time in my life. Just let that sink in for a minute. Life as an eldest daughter can make changing roles difficult. It hasn’t been easy for me to admit my body isn’t as strong as it used to be, that my acti

If New Year's resolutions haven't worked for you, I have an alternative that's worked wildly for me, for the past 20 years. Imagine spending just a few minutes determining what you want your year to feel like. You sit in a comfortable space, close your eyes and allow yourself to drift off into an ideal year. You emerge from this time full of joy, peace, and excitement. Maybe you even giggle under your breath in anticipation. Now wouldn't that be a great way to start your year

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Before chronic illness visited me, I saw the holidays the way they are often painted: bright, sparkling, full of energy and a time for celebration. But now that I am living with chronic illness and chronic pain, the holiday season isn’t always filled with moments of joy. The extra noise, extra time planning for travel, the unrealistic expectations we can place on our bodies, having to cancel social plans, and the sensory overload can push my alread

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   I walked in the door of my house about seven months ago, and I felt like a ghost. I was going through the motions of daily life but without emotion. And in that moment, I realized that's not the way I want to live life. I had to make some pretty hard decisions, life changing decisions, changing the big plan for my future. I think at some point we all come to that crossroads of choosing to continue living life the way we have been or choosing some

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   I recently found myself standing in a room filled with other writers. In that moment, I felt my present self being reintroduced to my younger self while also picturing myself in the future. I was a keynote speaker for this same writer’s retreat when it first started, and here I was again, a different year, different writers, and a different me.   As I led them through each writing prompt and we worked through the tangle of thoughts and deeply sea

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez After I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, I decided that for a year I would journal about my journey. I wrote each page as if it were a letter to myself or my children and we could one day look back on and see how far I had come. I had hope of healing, hope of being cured.   That was over a decade ago. I picked up that old journal recently and took a walk down memory lane. It was an emotional walk. I’ve had highs and lows. I’ve experienced beau

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez   When you’re healthy, it’s easier to imagine a future full of possibilities. But when you’re chronically ill or in chronic pain imagining a future that is good, even though we’re still in pain, it is not as easy. After I was first diagnosed, I was in denial, but that didn’t last long because of course you can’t deny pain as it increases in intensity. Once I came to a place of acceptance, I also fell into a depression. It’s a time of mourning the l

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Creative expression can be a way to process all the things that we are feeling. We are complex human beings, and we don't just have to feel one thing at a time. Let that sink in for a moment. It's OK to hold space for both joy and pain at the same time! It’s September, my favorite time of the year. Autumn has arrived, the trees are changing colors, and It’s Hispanic Heritage Month. This month has typically been a time to celebrate my culture, celeb

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Have you ever felt a kind of exhaustion that words could never quite express? The kind that seeps into your...

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez When living with chronic illness, chronic pain, and disabilities our days often revolve around managing...

By Victoria (Tori) Martinez Every time one of my art pieces finds its way to someone who feels connected to it, I'm reminded that art has...